Shattered Soul
by Meowiegirl
Summary: The sequel to Shattered Ring, although you don't have to read the first story. All Mokuba wants is someone to love him. YAOI! NoaMokuba, MarikMalik, YamiYuugi, KatsuyaSeto, onesided SetoRyou. FINISHED
1. Mokuba

Shattered Soul

A/N: Here it is, the sequel to Shattered Ring! (Although you don't have to read it to understand this.) I apologize for any weirdness in this chapter, as I'm typing this up at 6:00 a.m. with a bad headache... :)

Warnings for this story are as follows: yaoi and shounen-ai (Noa x Mokuba, Yami Yuugi x Yuugi, Marik x Malik, with maybe a bit of Katsuya x Seto later on), depressing stuff, and short chapters. Hey, it's poetry. Now, a word about chapter format- each chapter will be from the point of view of the character that it's named after. So this is the Mokuba chapter.

Sorry for the long intro, but I had to clear stuff up. One more thing, Mokuba is in a wheelchair since one of the chapters in Shattered Ring; this story takes place three years later, so he's about thirteen or fourteen. I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

* * *

separation

separation, it's what I crave, it's what

well it's what I _need_ (if I'll ever have my own life)

more than anything else in the world I must be separated

from_ him_, from Seto, to whom I lost my identity... I'm

I'm just some part now.

a piece of him, a cog and wheel-

another machine and he's oh so ruthless with his machines-

throwing them out or changing them

whenever they don't work, don't please him like they're supposed to and

and I'm scared.

even through all the kind smiles

the sad smiles

the proud smiles when last week I felt

_(thought I felt)_

a pain in my numb right leg, that broken part. even pain

is worth sighing over now, worth the claps and the happiness

and he looked so happy, so happy it was

odd... but

but I don't care. I don't care for those

hugs and kisses like I'm glass. I'm broken,

bad goods, and so

do I have a right to want something so precious

as love? can I wish for

someone to sweep me off these damaged legs and kiss me and hold me high

and love me for me and not for him?

_well find out fast, know soon_

_get away, for he sees in you himself, and forgot who you are_

_you know Seto would always love you but never let you go... you, his innocence and youth_

_

* * *

_

Gah. Long chapter. Sorry everyone, but some might be shorter than this. I hope everyone understood it... I'll update soon unless dire circumstances stop me.:)


	2. Seto

Shattered Soul

A/N: I am so sorry for the delay! I really wasn't feeling well, though, so I was pretty uninspired. Just sitting there and croaking like a frog... :) Anyway, here's a Seto chapter. If you didn't read Shattered Ring, keep in mind that Ryou is dead, and Seto loved him.

I still don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

* * *

I love him and he's still mine.

Three years and he's always-

_always-_

been my white-haired angel, then figuratively, now literally.

I'm waiting here

waiting for him to come home, come back...

Come to _me_.

I know he saw I loved him. He saw it

saw it but couldn't do a thing,

so paralyzed by sadness

(madness?)

as he was, but we kissed once and that has to count. It needs to. It's all

all I've got left in what I call my heart.

He has to be with me. We can all be a family together. Mokuba's

well he's growing up now, but he's with me forever. As of

...three years ago...

that time I try to forget, his legs don't work. I want to forget. And

I feel so remorseful but I'm also

also a little happy, so deep down. I'm evil

I know I'm evil and it's _his_ fault, Gozaburo who still fills this house.

Mokuba still has hope, though. Mokuba

wants me to look ahead, wants me

to smile again (even a little), wants me

to stop looking at photographs.

But how can I? How can I when my love,

a _piece of my very heart_, exists in the past only?

* * *

Poor Seto. I promise he'll come out of it some time during the story. Um, about the rating... Next chapter, the story will probably fit its rating, because next chapter will be Katsuya with his very foul mouth. :) Since I'm feeling better and I'm inspired, next update probably will come quickly! 


	3. Katsuya

Shattered Soul

A/N: I am so fed up with this cold weather here in New York. Ugh. Anyway, here's the Katsuya chapter, with all its foul-mouthed goodness. :)

I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

* * *

Oh my god the kid's gone round the bend.

He's crazy, man, fuckin' crazy, just sittin' there and staring

with big sad eyes.

_Or is he lonely_

Time's repeatin' itself, loopin' back

turnin' this poor kid into a taller older white haired friend I once had

That friend is gone now. Dead.

He fuckin' killed himself.

_And I was relieved, dammit, how could I be relieved how could I_

Ryou

I don't like to think about it but Mokuba's makin' me... The

kid's more like him every day jesus christ it can't happen again

Not again.

I can't make that choice again, can't be forced 'cause I know...

'Cause I know that if I do,

I'll turn my back on Mokuba. Hey,

if I have to I'll do it, but

_brown eyes white hair a friendly smile as the spring breeze blew gently_

I almost don't want to. I'm scared-

No. Not scared. I just can't,

_and it was the last time I saw him alive_

just won't leave this kid to Ryou's fate he didn't kill anyone like Ryou did

But they're so alike, so alike it's weird.

So I'm slowly turnin' away, slowly, slowly.

Can't let him see it.

_black hair grey eyes a friendly smile when he sees me in the park_

_I don't answer_

_god dammit but that kid's nice._

_

* * *

_

Katsuya is going to be a little nicer in this story, because... Well, just because! (It'll come out over time, why he's being nicer.) Katsuya's kind of fun to write; his consciousness isn't too bright, but his subconscious is. Hopefully, I'll update this soon. :)


	4. Noa

Shattered Soul

A/N: This chapter is a Noa chapter. (Finally! This should be fun...) Keep in mind that he's still in the computer this time and it sank at the end of the Noa Arc, so he's underwater... Also, for the purposes of the story, Noa's body is still being kept in one of the labs at KaibaCorp.

I still don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. (And what's with KidsWB putting on re-runs again? Argh...)

* * *

Dark and cold,

within me, without me, this environment,

now real, still mimics my soul.

Suspended in an undersea prison, so isolated as I was for six years in my fantasy land...

But nothing will bring me joy again.

How can it? I

have experienced love, had it ripped from my arms–

_I pushed him from my arms, he had to survive_–

there was once warmth brought to this place. Once and no longer.

The sea water around me slowly rapes my shell,

salt wreaking its havoc on the computer.

I am static now at best.

I am a fuzzy picture.

I want to be more, I have to be more, in his memory...

Soon, it's all he'll

_**system experiencing a crash**_

_**repeat:**_

_**system experiencing a crash**_

_**system will shut down in three**_

have left of me...

_**two**_

I cry out and brace for another period of utter dark.

_**one**_

But it is nothing, merely sleep, next to my bleak loveless loneliness.

_**zero**_

_(Am I absolute zero?)_

_

* * *

_

Wow... I really love writing for Noa. Next chapter should be either Yuugi or Yami, so we're going back to the real world. Expect a pompous Yami. :)


	5. Yami Yuugi

Shattered Soul

A/N: Here is a Yami chapter. Other characters will refer to him as Atemu or Pharaoh so that no one gets confused as to which Yami's being spoken about (since Malik will have a part in this story too).

I still don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. (But I'm now the proud owner of a DVD of the first season of classic Jonny Quest. :D I'm so happy!)

* * *

Two innocents.

They are lost within the forest of the world, lost and easy prey.

Two children, pure of heart, and I can only save one.

As the Pharaoh, I must save one. I am still the Pharaoh, still a child of the gods...

An ancient ruler in a new age of the world.

Uncertainty nags at my mind. I am all-knowing, yes,

all-powerful, but what happens when I must choose between the two innocents?

What happens when one must die for the other to live?

One, weak and wounded, the other, my very heart and soul.

He is the sun and stars of my little universe.

(The Pharaoh, all-knowing and all-powerful, has been captured body and mind.

Captured by a young man, a commoner.

Captured so wholly that he would never escape voluntarily!

My captor is one Yuugi Mutou; my cage, a thing called Love.)

Of course I must choose my lover. There is no other way.

The other is the brother of my rival, of the High Priest Set. He can save the boy.

I know it. I must know it.

I am the Pharaoh. I know all.

Honda says I closed my eyes once, three years ago.

Closed my eyes to a dying boy named Ryou Bakura.

But I never knew a Ryou Bakura. All I knew

was a white-haired tomb thief's lover who had to be punished. He was never my friend.

Even his name sounds alien now. With practice, anything will be forgotten.

By the will of the Pharaoh,

Yuugi will survive. There was never a choice.

There never will be.

* * *

Sorry to all you Yami fans... He's like this in the dub, at least here in America... 


	6. Yuugi

Shattered Soul

A/N: Okay, this story has been moving along really slowly, and I'm sorry about that. It's just that this annoying combination of excessive schoolwork and writer's block has been preventing me from getting any of my fanfictions done! Hopefully, I will pick up the pace... :)

This is a Yuugi chapter, and no, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Sadly.

* * *

Love letter...

Flowers in a vase, set

by my bed, smelling sweet- so sweet as spring does-

signed with a note...

Kisses, "I miss you"...

I'm in love. I'm in love and I'm so happy and I'm so oblivious

_too_ oblivious?

to the world but I don't care, I can't care. I

I know this sounds selfish but I simply won't care. I refuse to!

Maybe this is a flower in a vase,

cut off too soon and doomed to die. Maybe it'll never work. No one falls in love

with what is really themself, a darker half.

But I did.

Or is this just narcissism, elevated to a whole new level and

now glorified, as

well, hey, something much more pure than it really is. My Pharaoh,

my Atemu tells me he loves me, and _so_ often.

It must work, it needs to.

I've seen what happens when it doesn't.

I hate remembering, but I've seen. Years ago,

a boy who might have been my friend... His name was...

Ryou! Ryou Bakura.

It didn't work. He was truly

an ill-fated flower in his vase, and as ill-fated flowers do,

died.

The flower by my bed, the note, the kisses...

What do they mean, or are they all pretty lies?

My Atemu appears,

stronger and (I know) smarter than I am

takes me in his arms and it feels too good to be a lie.

So maybe

Maybe I'm just thinking too much. I'd rather be oblivious

when oblivion is this warm and lovely.

* * *

Poor Yuugi, what happened to Ryou last story sort of ruined the whole love thing for him... Hopefully he'll get a bit happier over the course of the story, but I don't know. I actually surprise myself every time I write this. ...Is that normal:) 


	7. Marik

Shattered Soul

A/N: I officially hate writer's block. It is so annoying. Once again, sorry for the lack of updates, but I have this ongoing case of writer's block. Ummm... Here's a Marik chapter, and I'm guessing I'll follow it with a Malik chapter.

I still don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. (Hey, I'm starting to think world domination would be a more realistic goal... -.-)

* * *

He cries out in his sleep and

he turns, turns, twisting away

from the darkness claiming him.

_Hold him close or he will leave you._

My light, the darkest light,

damned forever to a plague of guilt,

a plague of shadow, a plague of accusation.

_His fever must not get too high- keep him, keep him close._

Salty water pours down

pouring in rivulets, streaking

sun-blonde hair and golden skin so pale; ill.

_Violet eyes are wide, too wide, he can't leave, no!_

A gasp, and with it, life;

he breathes so heavily, almost

sobbing in his grief, sobbing in his loneliness.

_You know what made him so ill, so sad, now right it._

All of them say, but they don't know...

vicious whispers, Malik's to blame for Mokuba's

broken heart- I'm to blame, I brought them to the Virtual Land.

_He brought you aboard, though, true, isn't he to blame, isn't he?_

He never told the boy who

to love, who to need, but I want my

dark light back, my golden lover equal in beauty only to Ra.

_If your sun should flicker out, careful of the nightmares awaiting in the cold dark._

_

* * *

_

Umm... Explanation time. The "usual suspects" were talking about how it's Malik's fault that Mokuba is pining away over Noa, because it was basically Marik's fault they went to the Virtual World in the first place. (And Malik brought Marik aboard, obviously.) So, Malik, being a person with something of a conscience, became so sad that he got sick. ...Does that make sense? Hopefully I'll get over this writer's block sooner rather than later.


	8. Anzu

Shattered Soul

A/N: Lately, I have a Rocky Horror Picture Show obsession. Don't ask why, I don't even know myself... -.- Anyway, here's an Anzu chapter, and she's extremely annoying in it.

You can probably guess what I'm going to say, but I still don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

* * *

It rips us apart from inside.

Something is clawing, tearing at the seams,

_killing_ our lovely bond of friendship and I know what.

The _Quiet Ones_,

it's always them, always

the ones you never notice, leave behind, don't include.

I have a secret.

It rustles in my head every day

as the falling leaves do right now, turning old but still there:

I'm not sorry.

No. Ever since _him_, the one

the quiet white-haired boy who injected poison into my bonds with my friends,

I've never been sorry

and I won't be. Honda and Katsuya, feeling

guilty, drift away, pulling further every day like boats in the rushing currents.

And now it's Mokuba.

They should ignore him, we have

to concentrate on the group problems first, we have to fix our relationships.

We haven't got time

for some lovesick kid, we can't help him.

Honda and Katsuya want to. They insist, reeds bending the other way in a strong wind.

I just need my group

back as it was. Friends again.

It's the quiet ones who split us up, every time. Even when they're dead and gone.

* * *

Sorry if it's a little shorter than the other ones. I just figured you wouldn't want to read much of Anzu's point of view, seeing as she's a bit...um...bitchy in this story. Basically, she's blaming Ryou for the drifting apart of her group of friends. (In a way, she's got it right. Honda and Katsuya are both feeling so guilty for listening to Anzu about that, so they want to help Mokuba.) I'm just setting the stage for what's going to happen later, with this one. 


	9. Noa

Shattered Soul

A/N: Wow, I'm honestly sorry for the lack of updates. I actually had inspiration this time, but my word processing program actually disappeared from my desktop. I just found it after extensive searching. (sweatdrop)

Nothing's changed. Still don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

* * *

I am consciousness.

Pure thought, I have no vessel,

no mind to contain me. I

could race across the world,

race faster than any jet,

any warplane Father made. I _am_ the ultimate machine, I am _organic_.

Nothing can stop me now.

I am so powerful, pure energy at its finest.

I could enter a room invisibly,

see _him_ again. I could see my love–

the finest torture.

Unable to hold him, kiss him, protect him,

I would merely be a witness as the world acts so harshly upon his delicate body,

his delicate _mind_.

I shouldn't be thinking.

I should be dead.

Mokuba knows this, what if he's moved on, what if...

And I can't even say it. I am purely rational, a creature made of pure intelligence,

the Supercomputer,

and I feel love.

I scream inside my dead-metal prison, this cell

keeping me trapped,

keeping me alive.

I scream with all my being, all my consciousness, and only another mind can hear.

Only another mind can acknowledge my existence, truly bring me to life.

But will they truly hear?

Or will they only, awakened from sweet slumber,

look around them before laying down again and sending me back to oblivion?

* * *

Yep, another Noa chapter. This is the one where I get philosophical... ;) 


	10. Seto

Shattered Soul

A/N: Wow, I'm going to town writing the Kaibas' points of view lately. This is a Seto chapter. (On a completely unrelated note, is anyone else here appalled at the price of clothing, especially in New York? I haven't been able to find good inexpensive clothing- it's all just too damn expensive!)

If I owned Yu-Gi-Oh, I wouldn't have just put on re-runs here in the US. I also wouldn't let 4Kids mangle it...

* * *

Gozaburo...

Closing on me,

closing on me, his hand grabs me...

Grabs me and pulls me down, _holds me down_,

and the other...

The other starts...

taking

...off my clothes, no, not this! Not this nightmare again...

I'm trapped within a dream,

an ethereal prison made of my own screams.

Made of my own guilt over

over the one I loved and love still, over Ryou. Guilt that I never saved him, never

could talk him out of it and in

to coming with me. He needed love and I never gave it to him.

I'm guilty- _guilty!_

As guilty as Gozaburo, guilty of withholding love until

until it killed someone.

Noa and Ryou.

Do we all kill the ones we love?

(Was Gozaburo even capable of love?)

Love

is a type of murder that should never be practiced.

I know this now.

Its dark vortex pulls both lovers in, suffocating them, driving them mad.

They die in the end, hating each other and themselves, hating their-

"_Seto? Big brother?"_

their life, their world...

"_Seto, Noa's crying. He wants to come back. Please?"_

Their minds

are merely destroyed in the process.

* * *

I feel bad for Seto. Seriously, whenever I watch the show, I just want to tell him to relax (or push him into a bedroom with whichever character he looks good with in that particular arc; that's only when I'm feeling like a truly evil authoress :D). And yes, Mokuba is talking to Noa, actually. He's not crazy. This will be explained sometime soon, if I haven't explained it already and forgotten. 


	11. Mokuba

Shattered Soul

A/N: Oi... Sorry for the hiatus. I had midterms, projects, and a bunch of fanfictions to type up (most of them aren't even done... argh). Oh, I finally went to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show in a theater, and it rocked. I just had to tell everyone because I'm so happy about that, and it was so fun.

I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. If I did, I'd have enough money to buy the uncut DVDs... But I wouldn't need to... Argh.

* * *

faster than the speed of light,

he comes to me.

Noa. he's

_my_ shining light, my beacon in the darkness

sitting next to me in bed.

but light

light can't feel

can't touch

can't _live_.

shining tears stream down golden cheeks and

I need so badly to wipe them away, kiss them away, comfort this

this _ghost_...

this undead ghost of light and thought.

I cry too.

if Seto sees this he'll believe

he must believe, with his analytical mind. must.

upon wheeling into the elevator and

down

I realize that, stuck in his own hell

he can't see me or mine.

if I could walk, I'd run to hug him

but I can't

so I sit here unseen, unthought of (I believe).

is a person dead when no one sees them?

is a ghost only

a living person, beginning to be ignored?

Seto sees only this

metal prison of the chair

this broken machine that I am, and so

am I already dead to him?

_leave now and go far. save yourself..._

_save your mind_. _his insanity reaches to you, touching you,_

_polluting you._

_searching for his innocence, he will only destroy yours_

_while he tries to save you._

_

* * *

_

Believe it or not, I actually was inspired for this at around 1:00 AM, which led to me sleepwalking into the kitchen and sitting down at the computer. I woke up, didn't see the time, thought it was 6:00 AM, promptly began to write fanfiction, and realized twenty minutes later that it was way too early to be awake. That was really annoying, but definitely amusing.


	12. Yuugi

Shattered Soul

A/N: Hi people! This is a Yuugi chapter, full of angsty goodness... I'll try to update again really soon, really. (I have to pick up the pace anyway, because I want to finish this before finals week in June...)

Anyway, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm trying, I'm trying!

* * *

Tears

they are crystals, they are pearls

and so innocent. _I'm_

so innocent, too innocent that I didn't see it,

couldn't see the lie that love was.

Those pearls

fall down my face, splashing on my pillow and shattering

just like my life.

My Pharaoh couldn't love me.

He could never love me, he

thinks of me as a symbol of purity, of chastity and I can't be.

I don't want to be! To sit here on our bed

to wait for him to return, walking in with kisses or roses or his loving words...

Is torture. It is torture and I know there's something more, something

_beyond_ this little fortress of our love.

It shields me from the world,

and I'm curious. I'm so curious.

I'm a willing prisoner, willing enough to give up my mind,

give up my thoughts to my smarter, better lover

but I still yearn for that one glimpse, that one look that will assure me

that a world exists outside.

I want to see and feel it, break some chains,

but I'm scared. This loving imprisonment is all I know...

Yami returns and I forget everything, every thought of exploration.

I am oblivious, not thinking of that world outside,

but safe and loved. In my Pharaoh's arms,

passion is more useful than intelligence. So I oblige,

kissing and petting him back,

still crying, still curious, but I've forgotten why.

* * *

Hope that was good... Poor Yuugi's too love-stricken to even think about the consequences if he makes Yami his whole world... Future plot device? I don't know! Um.. Does anyone know if Peacemaker Kurogane is out in the U.S. as a manga or an anime? I really want to see or read it; it looks so similar to Rurouni Kenshin. 


	13. Katsuya

Shattered Soul

A/N: Did anyone else see the new Yu-Gi-Oh episodes on Saturday, and go "Awww!" and have the urge to go and write yaoi or shounen ai when Yami was hugging/holding Kaiba? I did (but I haven't acted on it yet, not for that pairing, at least)... Anyway, here's a Katsuya chapter.

I still don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Hey, if I did, it would probably be completely unedited. Wow, that would be cool...

I try. Man, I

I try so damn hard, and I fail, and it always gets me in the end,

always stabs me in the end and right through my heart too right where it hurts most...

I didn't want to see them

_was afraid to see them._ No

not afraid, just didn't need 'em in my life

can't afford 'em in my life right now.

Those Kaibas, those weirdos, and

I mean come on they're the best excuse that madness is hereditary just lock 'em both up.

Lock 'em both up and save me

the trouble _they_ put me through, both of 'em. They're crazy.

The kid was sittin' there talkin' to _air_, man, fuckin' _air_, talkin' to an imaginary boyfriend...

It's delusional, creepy

_it's romantic really_

and the older one just sat there starin', not seein' this nutcase kid.

And then, real slow...

Kaiba- the older one- he just put his head in his hands

and his shoulders started shakin' but he didn't want anyone to see he was cryin'.

I knew about that. I knew from when Shizuka...

Well, it hurts, anyway. My feet weren't movin'

so I stood there,

I stood there watchin' and realizin'

"Hey

maybe... Maybe he's human."

Kaiba's human and he's got emotions and all that crap and he c_ries_ I saw him _cryin'_

Maybe Kai-

no, _Seto_... maybe I do want him in my life.

Heh... Laying the groundwork for some shounen ai here... I'm going to try and finish this before Regents and Finals Weeks, but I don't need to worry... That's all the way in the middle of June!


	14. Anzu

Shattered Soul

A/N: Hey, everyone. I'm now working on four fanfictions at once, plus like three that I have to rewrite and post... O.O Anyway, here's an Anzu chapter, and she is pretty hateful, as usual. By the way, is it only here in NYC where it's disturbingly cold for this time of year? Maybe it just follows me, 'cause I'm always freezing... (sweatdrop)

I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. If I did, Ryou and the other ignored characters would be in almost every show.

* * *

When the reeds do not bend, they will

merely break anyway, submitting to the wind

gently or forcibly. It

doesn't matter to me, why should it?

I want to get my way, I want to keep my friends.

Now it's both of them, both Kaiba brothers,

each working in his own way to weaken

my bond with my friends, each wanting in his own way,

for his own reason,

to break us all apart. We will

stay strong. We will always be Friends, always there.

We will never leave each other and we'll never

_never never_

let one of _them_ in, one of the Quiet Ones who sit alone at lunch beneath a tree.

They bait us.

Kaiba- the elder Kaiba- sits with his head bent as if in defeat, a disguise.

He will not stop until we have all separated,

cut our bonds and run loose into the world like flower petals upon the wind.

Yugi is the faithful one, sitting as he does by me. We talk.

I love him. One day, he will marry me, I know it. He loves

me too, and I see it in his eyes. Those rumors, what Katsuya said, about Yugi and

Pharaoh Atemu are a wedge! Even he tries to break us apart now.

How long before it is Yugi's turn? I must reign in our group,

they are the leaves snatched from a nurturing tree by the wild wind.

Katsuya goes and sits by Kaiba,

offers him lunch. Kaiba ignores him, yes, very good, and-

no. They talk. They share lunch, and

Kaiba's shoulders begin to heave. Katsuya puts an arm around Kaiba's back-

this arm is gladly accepted.

How interesting. However, nothing changes. Katsuya is

still my friend, still that rebellious reed not bending in the wind.

And when the reed will not bend, it will break, if the wind continues to blow.

* * *

Yay! I'm finally getting into the Katsuya/Seto part! And yes, I'm fairly sure it will be Katsuya/Seto as opposed to Seto/Katsuya... Not sure why, it just turned out that way. Oh, by the way, this takes place about two weeks after the meeting in the park, and according to Anzu, Katsuya and Seto have been talking civilly (gasp) for a while... So Katsuya's not just touching Seto out of the blue. 


	15. Noa

Shattered Soul

A/N: Hey, everyone. I saw the Yu-Gi-Oh on Saturday, and my main reaction was "Yay! Amelda!". (Yes, I do think he should be paired up with Kaiba, as should like half the rest of the characters in that show. It depends upon which season you watch.) Anyway, I also saw one episode of Samurai Champloo and now I'm hooked. It rocks, it's kind of like a mix of Rurouni Kenshin and Cowboy Bebop.

This here's a Noa chapter. I still don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

* * *

I am nothing.

I am within, without, surrounding myself... and

formless. Boundless energy.

No one sees me cry now, no one hears my screams of frustration

except for him. Mokuba.

My one link to life, to sanity.

_Pulling pushing squeezing pain pain pain pain PAIN_

I feel.

I am dreaming, what other way

could I feel that feather light touch... And then

in my chest there is a burning and I gulp air in, instinctively, and

I am not dreaming. I live.

No.

I can't live, not in some new body, doomed never to see _him_ again!

Tears well up and fall down my face.

Water. Warm and salty. How long since I've cried...? I am human.

I move my eyes, looking, seeing

what a limited field of vision I now have and-

_him_.

Mokuba.

He touches my arm and I smile softly. It is so hard now.

I was once boundless and now

I am in a shell once more, a body able to feel and move.

Moving my arm takes so much strength. It is heavy, it is so

alien now, but I must feel...

Mokuba catches my hand in his, and I feel hot tears fall upon it.

He speaks. It sounds slow, as if yelled beneath the waves.

Distorted, but my ears remember.

My brain remembers.

"We found your body, Noa! We could fix your injuries, so we uploaded you back in."

Father, we have defeated you.

You tried to kill me, and now I am so much stronger.

I am loved. There is so much to do.

But now, I must sleep. Recharge my batteries- no. My brain.

My soul.

* * *

Yay! Noa got a body! Umm... In case you didn't get that part, they found his body stored in one of Gozaburo's labs, so they were able to upload Noa's consciousness back in after fixing the body. I think I read far too much sci-fi for my own good. 


	16. Malik

Shattered Soul

A/N: Hey, everyone. I'm extremely annoyed at myself right now, because I just woke up one minute- _one!_- before my alarm went off, and I didn't know what time it was, so I went back to sleep. For one minute. I'm so tired right now! Anyway, I probably won't update this again until Tuesday of next week, because I have this humongous English project that, no matter how hard I work on it, is not getting done, so I'll have to work on it in the mornings too. Sorry...

Here's a Malik chapter. I just noticed that I've been neglecting him. Oh, and I still don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. (sigh)

* * *

Guilt.

Polluting me, choking me, killing me, for I'm

I'm a murderer, so many times over.

Father, Arkana,

nameless others, faceless others, and now perhaps a friend.

And so I twist here, writhing in pain and fever,

some small retribution

for my crimes but I deserve to hurt _more_, burn _more_, no, die.

Mokuba's dying because of me.

Going mad. _Is_ mad?

I brought my yami to Battle City and without me,

none of this would have happened.

Breathing stops.

My heart races, then slows. Is this all that comes with death? I

...I love you, my yami. I'm sorry

I need to

hurt you to atone for my crimes but it's for the best. _Darkness_.

Hands stroke my face. Warm hands, and

I open my eyes.

My yami stands, face terrible with sorrow, and he continues with this petting.

It was a strong, impersonal darkness that took me.

But my own sweet darkness

brought me back. He hugs me- _pounces _me!- bronze skin on

bronze, and I know: I can't leave now,

no matter my guilt.

* * *

I thought I had to write a little fluff, because this was getting too tragic. I was thinking of killing Malik off, but then I realized that I just couldn't, because Ryou had died in the last story... Hopefully I'll get all of my project done so that I can update on Monday, but most likely, I won't be able to update until Tuesday. So... See you then! 


	17. Yuugi III

Shattered Soul

A/N: Sorry I didn't update yesterday. There were "issues" in my house. (Basically, my homophobic younger brother had been harassing some kid that he thought was gay, repeatedly, and my mom was called by the principal of the kid's school, which is also my brother's school. The result was, since I'm bi, I felt quite unsafe in my own house.)

Sorry, I just had to get that out, 'cause my mom has forbidden me from telling anyone who might see or know my brother... But you all probably wouldn't, so I'm fine. Anyway, here's a Yuugi chapter for your reading...uh...pleasure. I still don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

* * *

I know the memory

of red-violet eyes looking into mine.

I feel the warmth, not long gone, on

my face where

my Pharaoh would kiss me, stroke me...

_slap me._

He's gone. No more sun

is in my life, it has been eclipsed by

loneliness' dark moon. He left me alone

here in

this empty house,

house that still holds memories of family and partying with friends.

I'm being left all alone... All because

he said he had to sort out his feelings, get his new life back together.

What did it mean?

He was a liar, saying he loved me. And I

was the fool,

always willing, always _needing_

to play along and I did. And now I

suffer for it.

Because I left the last thing Atemu gave me, sunflowers,

in a vase by my bed and after

two months now, they've died. I should be cold

in my heart.

But instead, I feel him there, feel him as if he's come back to me.

When he finds his memories in Egypt, I

can only hope that I am still in his heart, warming it,

softening it,

as he does to me.

* * *

Aww, poor Yuugi! Don't worry, I won't let him and Atemu break up. At least, I don't think so... 


	18. Mokuba III

Shattered Soul

A/N:Hey, everyone– it seems Cartoon Network has once again either taken Yu-Gi-Oh off or changed the time without telling anyone. That is annoying. I hope they don't do that with Samurai Champloo, 'cause that is one damn good show.

Here is a Mokuba chapter. (Not that you need to know, but I was inspired to write this last night while brushing my teeth. O.o) If I owned Yu-Gi-Oh, I wouldn't be writing **fan**fiction for it, now, would I?

* * *

this ghost begins to live.

noticed at last, Noa

doesn't see my chair, he sees me. we are, in a way,

the same-

both prisoners of our limited bodies. he cannot

believe

that my legs are like broken axles in a machine- there, but not working.

Seto looks up, looks through me, looks

_down_. down at that damn chair. since when has one possession so defined my

whole existence? I must walk again.

must.

I don't tell Noa, don't tell anyone, and I ghost

downstairs, invisible in my bulky wheelchair, ignored by the servants and

certainly by Seto. he

ignores what disappoints him, and it disappears eventually, and I

am so afraid of disappearing. and I

don't want to be a ghost, unable to be with Noa now,

unable to feel. I wheel out from my room to the long second-floor landing,

feeling transparent. no!

Noa's helping, he loves me, loves me, loves me

_sees me_.

and soon Seto will, too. pushing up, out of my chair, waiting 'til

my feet look like they're in a good position, and

I lower myself gently, gently, and

PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN _PAINPAINPAINPAINPAINOHGODMAKEITSTOP_

darkness.

and then light, bright and glaring, which I squint up in to. clean,

sterile smell of a hospital, smell of covered-up

vomit, and steel tools, and confident doctors whose knowledge is questionable...

where is Seto?

he sees me, looks right at me...

_looks away_. no!

I feel myself disappearing, until I see my Noa, seeing _me_ and not my useless legs.

I'm no machine to him.

to him, I'm real.

_take this newfound gift of romantic love and run–_

_life's tragedies are not through with you yet. stay close to those you love_

_lest something tear them away_

_from you..._

_or each other._

_

* * *

_

I figured it was time to introduce a new plot device, other than Malik being guilty, Yuugi pining after Atemu, Mokuba and Noa acting fluffy, and so on. Only seven chapters left! Oh my god... _  
_


	19. Seto III

Shattered Soul

A/N: Poor Seto. I've been neglecting him... -.-U Anyway, I haven't got much to rant bout today except that Cartoon Network either removed or moved Yu-Gi-Oh again. They suck sometimes.

I still don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Not that I've tried much, but you know...

* * *

What is this?

It can't happen to me- weak legs,

shaking, worrying.

I am the CEO of KaibaCorp, above silly things like that,

above all emotions.

I've trained myself too highly, must not

must not give it all up now. Mokuba is hurt again, ill,

and I can't bear to see him suffer.

I can't look at him, his big grey eyes reflecting

nothing but pain, pain and sadness. Reflecting

what I must have looked like,

back with

with

_him_.

But Katsuya was there too, and I couldn't make him leave. It wasn't

that I told him to go and he didn't.

I

I I I think I actually

..._enjoy_...

his company now, and then he put his arm around my shoulders and I just

...I did something I hadn't actually done for years. Cried.

And then I ran.

Ran the twelve miles back home, ran and apologized to Ryou for betraying him.

What if, though,

what if he's not there, never has been, never will be?

Pictures on a wall don't keep a soul there.

Maybe I should stop mourning. No. I can't.

And this mystery affliction: I go to my laptop, type in the symptoms.

Weak knees.

Shaking.

Worrying.

Emotion.

Diagnosis: I think I'm in love. With Katsuya.

Oh god, it's terminal.

* * *

Heh, some Kaiba humor there at the end. Sarcastic people rock. (No, _I'm _not being sarcastic.) Anyway, I think Seto is kind of stealing the show... Oh well, I'll just make it a Kaiba brothers-centric fanfic, as opposed to a Mokuba-centric fanfic. Hope you all liked it! And yes, Kaiba is still obsessed with Ryou. 


	20. Anzu III

Shattered Soul

A/N: Hey, sorry about the long delay. I was typing up a LONG fanfic that my friend and I wrote. The part of it I typed up ended up being sixty-six pages typed. Unfortunately, it's in script format, so you'll probably never see it on another Anzu chapter. Yes, I hate her too. No, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

* * *

Our roots travel deep

twining and battling with each other, becoming

peaceful in the end.

The roots of our friendship, our group,

are dying now. Diseased. The medicine

is for _them _to leave, for the Kaibas to stop their little games and leave us all alone.

Even Yuugi is drifting now, and

I must stop him before he winds up like Katsuya.

Katsuya. The lost cause, the traitor

who never really cared about us, never was really

a friend. Now he stands by Seto.

Now he _cares_ for Seto, comforts him,

wants to help him overcome the mess that is his life.

What do I do when my friends turn their backs,

turn their backs and betray me? I fight it. They can't stay away from me forever.

Katsuya can't stay away. Soon he'll see, _I_ was always his friend.

Once he's been used and left, he'll come back to me. The reed broken by the wind.

I ignore the raging question:

_Used for what?_

I don't worry. I will not worry now, when I'm so close to my goal.

Running up to Katsuya and Seto, I stop as I see Katsuya lean in close and...

No. They saw me. Good. I call Katsuya over, he gets up

and tells me to leave him alone.

He's caught in the currents of love's oceans.

Soon to drown, and too foolish to notice. I will not help him.

Turning back to where Yuugi and I had been sitting in the schoolyard,

I see he is gone. In this final year of high school,

our friendships are tested.

The test comes in the form of those we'd never acknowledged,

those Quiet Ones left in the background.

But we will persevere. This is merely the winter of our friendship.

Soon, it will bud again; new, growing, beautiful, whole.

If it is not too blighted.

* * *

Ew, Anzu. Okay, I'm finished. Usually, I would go into a whole tirade, but I have to hurry and finish this thing up before I leave tomorrow. (I won't have access to a computer until late August or early September, so I won't be able to post for a long time...) 


	21. Yami Yuugi II

Shattered Soul

A/N: Yes, I am updating a lot today. Anyway, this is an Atemu chapter. I'll try not to make him as much of a pompous asshole this time, but he acts like that in the American dub... (I think, anyway.)

I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

* * *

Long I wandered in Egypt,

truth-seeking, memory-finding. I found the records of my life,

scrawled upon a tomb's wall, and I read these records.

I know who I am now: the Pharaoh Atemu, child of the Gods,

keeper of the three God Cards and the Millennium Puzzle.

My lover is Yuugi Mutou, a common child.

He is my world, my universe, my very soul, and I know

I'm the same to him.

I've been gone for months in this spirit form

somehow unnoticed by all around me. How could I,

spirit-child of Ra, be ignored? I roared and raged, beating on the walls and windows

of simple dwellings, skyscrapers, crumbling ruins,

and inspired no fear, no feeling at all in those I saw.

Memories come, memories of white hair and big brown eyes, a face without a name,

but with such guilt. It cannot be a memory, then–

I, the Pharaoh, am guilty of nothing, and I hold no recollection of that sweet face.

He was no former lover of mine, no criminal put to death for murder.

But he still haunts my heart and mind, wanting vengeance,

and for what?

I can recall faintly the Thief King Akeifa, the one who would have killed me in a second,

but he was put to death. The Gods decreed it, so they compelled him to jump

into the path of a bullet, protecting his lover–

His lover.

That pure white-haired child was his lover, who had to be punished for his

loving blindness, foolishly ignoring Akeifa's evil.

I suddenly need to return home to my own lover, my Yuugi, and I do,

appearing in his room and taking a tangible form. It is as the day I left. He has changed

nothing, but _he_ has changed. His eyes are cold,

as is his heart, abandoned. I take him in my arms and weep for him,

for us.

* * *

Sorry, I lied. I just write him like that... Sorry to any Yami fans who read that. 


	22. Katsuya III

Shattered Soul

A/N: Third update today. God. And what's sad is, no one will probably ever read this. Argh. It's another Katsuya chapter, because I haven't written for him in a while...

I still don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. If wishes were fishes, my fish would be in the shape of a sign that says, "Meowiegirl, the annoying anime-obsessed, brainy nerdchick, owns Yu-Gi-Oh. Boo-yah."

* * *

My feelings are racin' in my head, horses runnin',

damn hooves _poundin'_ the insides of my skull.

I don't know whether to hate him or love him. I want to love him.

I think I do. Seto.

That's who I love, who I should hate, and

and I don't think we'll ever really get along. His brother's not mad though,

not anymore. He used to be a nut.

Now, the poor kid's just broken, a ghost in

a cracked and warped shell. He keeps in the shadows,

and he's so weird. He's spooky.

_Shows me what I might be one day, if Seto leaves me now._

I'm addicted worse than an alcoholic or a druggie,

cravin' that damn fix that really gets me goin', helps me through the day.

Oh god, it's so _pathetic_, you know?

But I can't satisfy my cravin', not now.

We're over, it's over, until one of us comes crawlin' back.

My fuckin' temper got

the best of me again,

messin' with my life again.

So we fought, he's gone,

I'm on the floor at the bottom so low low low.

Seto's back at his house, nursin' his hurt temper. Good.

I don't care what I feel or what I felt.

Never again, I can't do this again. It's too hard, too confusin'.

I hate him and I love him. My Seto.

But it's better for both of us, I know, if we just stay friends. I

call up Anzu, lonely, needin' to fill that void. I'll stay

friends with him,

just never lovers– my Herculean task.

* * *

That even surprised me. I really wasn't expecting to break them up. Now I don't know if they'll get back together, so stay tuned. Damn, I just threw off my idea for the rest of the plot by breaking them up... (sigh) 


	23. Marik II

Shattered Soul

A/N: I swear, I'm going to get Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Argh. Here's a Marik chapter, because I think I've been ignoring the fluffy psycho lately.

I still don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. (weeps)

* * *

I rise above my dark light, kissing him,

feeling his radiance upon my face. Even in the dead of night,

he brings light into my life,

tainted light, corrupted light...

The sweetest kind.

His guilty illness no longer torments him,

no longer threatens him,

and still the others cast him out. Still the others shove him away.

They are horrid, they are cruel,

they are deserving of life's hardships.

They deserve the double sickle of

the breaths that sustain them for events both happy and sad.

Death is so much simpler.

_Remember Akeifa. Remember Ryou, and know how happy they are._

Malik sees so much more than I do, though,

even when we see the same thing. I

see Seto Kaiba, cold and aloof, moving ahead without

Katsuya. He drove the stupid blonde away,

and now they both wallow

in their own foolishness, stewing, neither one happy.

And Malik sees their sadness. Malik

doesn't see Seto's cruelty as cruelty,

but a shield.

He says he must break that shield, melt the icy heart,

and now I am afraid.

He can't leave me now, not now or ever, not my dark light.

But if he does

if he forgets me

I will cease to exist, and become only a shadow.

_But even shadows exist, and to exist is to feel pain._

He can't forget me. And so I kiss him, undressing him and running

my hands across his skin,

making sure he'll remember me forever.

* * *

Yep, it's the return of slutty!Malik. Don't worry, he won't get together with Seto. 


	24. Malik II

Shattered Soul

A/N: This is the last normal chapter of the story. Next chapter will be the last one, so it will have a special format. This is another Malik chapter, because I just feel like writing for him.

Do I really need to say I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh?

* * *

I am still guilty.

No matter the outcome, no matter how happy

Mokuba is now, I am stained with guilt.

I still wander in darkness,

wanting an end to it and still needing to punish myself.

Self-punishment is Domino's new religion,

I see this, I know it. Seto, Katsuya,

Yuugi now. He stays with his lover, Atemu,

the narcissistic Pharaoh who can't give Yuugi

the attention he needs. Always in

the shadow of his darker half, ignored,

a bright light burns unnoticed, soon to explode if he continues unchecked.

Seto and Katsuya

keep apart, deceiving themselves

saying they were never meant to be, but

it's been seven months since they broke up,

and both are so unhappy.

All I can do is chronicle this new worship of masochism and martyrdom,

chronicle and engage in it,

and I do with such gusto.

Marik sees the hell I put myself

through daily, and he wants to end it,

but he can't. I won't let him.

Not until I'm dead and gone, so I want to forget him,

leave him, but I can't.

I love him.

And so I stay at our house, with its memories both good and bad,

and isn't that a worse punishment

than death's kind embrace or the gentle caress

of forgetful oblivion?

* * *

Poor Malik. He's still depressed. I wanted to make this chapter more upbeat and hopeful, but I don't really do upbeat and hopeful too well... (sweatdrop) 


	25. All He Needed Was Love

Shattered Soul

A/N: Here it is, the last chapter. This is probably the last time I'll do a story like this– it's been fun, but I've just run out of ideas that would work for this format. My next YGO fanfic will probably be an update of Skeletons in the Attic, which I put on hold 'cause of writer's block. The soonest that would be updated is late August or early September, when I'll have access to a computer next.

I still don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

Formatting note: Like the finale to Shattered Ring, the character's name will be next to their lines, and they've stopped their part when the next name shows up. This chapter takes place five years later.

* * *

Yuugi

I sit next to him,

my Pharaoh, my reason for life, still cold

after he left me for so long, years ago.

He returned after a while, but so much wiser, so

much sadder, and knowing his past.

Was it really right, really _meant_, for him to know?

None of us are really meant to know our true selves,

for the truth is heartbreak. And so I sit,

telling myself I love him, and wanting to love him _so bad_.

Lying to myself and glossing it all over, for my sanity.

Yami Yuugi

My innocence is beside me,

he keeps me in check, anchoring me to my calling as the Gods' mouth

in this new era, with all its new evils.

Five years since I found myself on the ancient walls

of my tomb, five years since

the Gods decreed that of two young lambs, only one was to stay innocent: mine.

But did he really?

As Yuugi sits next to me, I feel the coldness in his heart, that wasn't there before.

And I shiver, even in the warm summer sun.

Anzu

My friends and I are one heart,

petals, not scattered on the wind, but safe

upon their flower.

The wind will come, like it did five years ago,

tearing us apart and carrying us each

in our own directions.

But every flower will bloom again. Separated,

we are confused, but together, we stand strong in the face of life's problems.

Friendship is truly the strongest blossom.

Malik

Even today, I am haunted.

Even as Mokuba begins to make his way

down the makeshift aisle, this path through the folding seats

on the lawn, I know guilt's harsh slap. I deserve it, just

as I deserved everything I got, Bakura's death, my near death, my early life.

A paradox: My life itself

was the greatest tragedy for so many.

Even as Mokuba nearly glows with happiness,

I'm being eaten, guilty without regrets. Just loving

the way the pain feels,

I realize. I never cared who I hurt. I don't.

I just crave the pain that comes with it,

and I know I'll always be Akeifa's masochistic whore.

I love it.

Marik

My tainted light has stayed,

only straying twice through our years,

and his eyes still look so haunted, so dark.

_He'll always be your dark delirium, your madness._

But there's a spark of light

far in the back, that glows defiantly.

He craves the pain of his guilt, and I won't keep him from it.

_Your love, your hate, your anger, your passion, all hurt him, and he loves it._

Seto

_He_ is here. Katsuya.

My friend, my dream-lover, with whom I'd

made an uneasy truce five years ago,

and broken it again. I'm damnably stubborn, I know that now,

walking by Mokuba as he wheels down the aisle.

I catch his eye, apologizing to Ryou as I do so.

Mokuba's at the makeshift altar now, and I sit down. Next to him.

Katsuya looks at me, pain in his eyes,

and I see how handsome he'd gotten in the five years that we didn't see each other

and I mouth:

"I love you"

He nods, I kiss his mouth, and I'm happy for the first time in years.

I'm

I'm so sorry, Ryou, and it's been long overdue, but

...goodbye.

Katsuya

I hadn't seen him in five years,

and he'd changed oh God he was so painfully beautiful and so cold

_so lonely and I know it was all my fault._

Here we are, at what's basically a weddin', and I

I can't even give Mokuba and Noa the attention they deserve.

No. Seto gets that, Seto

who sits down right next to me and those damn horses start runnin' around my head again,

poundin' it so hard,

so hard that I almost don't feel it when Seto presses his lips to mine,

but it felt so _good_ and so _right_ that I know we'll work it all out.

_Hello, nice to see you too, I'm sorry, I_

_I love you._

Noa

I am still amazed, even now,

at the way my consciousness fills this shell and complements it,

and I am amazed that I have been blessed with love.

Standing here at the altar,

I almost thank my bastard of a father for what he did to me.

Without my death, this wouldn't have happened.

Mokuba wheels around to face me, beaming up at me with a

face that is so full of life,

so full of energy that I stare for a moment. Life is still

alien to me, and although my consciousness

is now gathered in one place, I still am so afraid that I'll just be pulled loose

from this body by the gentle breeze, pulled

loose and returned to my metal prison beneath the waves.

Thinking about this, I become sad and almost scared– but I look

into Mokuba's eyes, and my fear flees.

Mokuba

we are complete at last, Noa and I. we,

the shadow children ignored by all, two ghosts,

have finally found hope and love. my broken body,

so abused by myself above all,

will never change now, never heal, but I am only slightly sad.

Noa doesn't see these useless legs,

this evil chair that is my captor and my savior,

he sees me whole. he sees my mind, my soul, my very consciousness.

and I finally know

finally know the answer to my life's question: whether it's worse to be broken

in mind or body, and I know I'd rather

suffer this fate than Ryou's.

we shadow children, we quiet ones left at the side,

have finally found a home in each other's hearts.

as we slip the rings onto each other's fingers,

I'm dancing somehow,

although my legs are useless. I'm dancing

in my heart, so happy today.

and I look at Seto,

and he sees me, really sees me, for the first time.

his eyes light up with recognition,

and I know I'm no longer his crippled little brother.

I'm loved, and that's all

I really needed.

_go on in life, young one._

_stay the course, stay true and you will find happiness_

_in the hard times; gems in the rough, as you and Noa found each other._

_

* * *

_

(cries) Oh, it's over. Wow. And it's actually a happy ending, for once. I really didn't see that coming, and I'm the one _writing_ the damn thing... Oh well. I know I don't do hopeful and upbeat too well, but I hope this doesn't suck...

Happy Yu-Gi-Oh watching/reading, everyone, and thank you to all of my readers!


End file.
